Signs it is coming apart... small signs...

As I prepare to rejoin the work force, lovely category for a life, 'I was one of the work force'. Not as good as police force, political force, brute force, or armed force. But it is honorable and essential.

I have been sent by the retirement services of my wife, to find her W2 from the last three years, I have located two of three. Which I wasn't happy about. I am missing more than I thought these last few years, probably because I haven't been thinking well. One of our home owners came by and asked me to sign a petition against some troubling neighbors. Renters - which shouldn't be a bad term, but if it is said by home owners that live here in that tone of voice - it means they haven't become neighbors they are nuisances. Loud parties, parking to block access, then almost immediately saying we discriminate because we are offended or troubled. The law has been called, restraining orders against the complaining home owners by the renter. They have much more experience protecting their rights in the legal system since they have had more problems... and need more help. Housing assistance to live in our rapidly falling apart development, because it does cost more money than some have, want to be fair. One of those questions that developers, realtors, and county government don't want you to get too close to, in the end they tell you to move to a gated community. They have their money, and will sell you more security, until they up the assistance.

As I found that I couldn't find one W2. I found my forefathers' World War II mementos. Dad had mounted his patches and brass and Marksmanship Medal and stripes on a cardboard. Proud enough to do that , not important enough to spend any time or money upon, he had things to do for family, job and the future. He also didn't much talk about the war, didn't like McArther, was in love with fresh pineapple, thought the Korean Winter was brutally cold in Inchon (occupation forces, cleaning up the harbor 1945-6 ,yes, Dungeys were in Korea that early). His brother would be there for the Korean War, my cousin and I would be there for the Cold War (1968-9). My grandfather Will Dungey hadn't been to war, but joined the American War Dads, one of many patriotic organizations as the nation went to war. He wasn't a joiner, just the Methodist Church, or local Protestant church. He already had a strong family, and work. Don't think he ever thought he needed more. His life was full, he was probably right. My father's most telling statement about the war "I was never nineteen." Which had made a mark on my mother, who believed that her nineteenth year was the best ever. That was the year she was married and had her first child. She thought it was perfect, the child was me, and I was much less than perfect but I did give her some joy. No, that was my sister, Joy, never mind. They won't write an allabout book about us.

Have to go do some more work, for my family, for their future while I watch it all come apart around us. Glad that God loves us, seems lonely and scary sometimes. Can't we get along?

I want to save the America that should be...

Personally, I will go back to work to help the President prove that his economic plan is working. Of course, I am unemployed but not on unemployment - too much pride and able to almost retire because I am so old. So I wasn't on the official totals of anything. All the factors that made me under utilized had nothing to do with the President's intent, ability or vision. The type of government in this state and how badly it works is just a small example of the major faults of the Federal government.

I will report how that works out, but I have to get out of this house much more.

The other thing I will do is continue to watch the election, having had a bitter taste of the current party politics, and watching too many experts on politics (we probably need more experts on amost everything else - politicians should all be like jurors - caring but never going to get rich on the duty). So make sure you vote on election day or earlier by mail. That takes care of politics.

Have to make sure your firearms are cleaned and working. If you don't have any, do look hard at your responsibilities to protect your home and family from the government forces like Lybia and Syria, Egypt, China, Cambodia. If you are armed, make sure you have enough ammunition, I recommend much more .22LR. Cheap enough, and great for all small game, most of us don't need to try to eat a moose. Until we get larger family or clan groups.

Food, lots of basics, flour, grains, beans, lots of garden seeds and tools to turn the earth and chop weeds. More books on farming, small husbandry, cooking, baking, be ready for lack of microwave meals. Duh. Sure you have all your canning supplies, and you can every year don't you? Oh, that was your great grandmother, the one that lived through the Depression, wasn't it?

Tools, it is nice to have them run on air, or electricity or batteries. But if the collapse is a bad as it might be, the hand tools work, they build the British Empire on hand tools and basic skills. Learn to make do, to patch, to maintain and repair. Darning isn't lightly swearing, it is making socks last another child longer. We don't have to buy our rag rugs from China, my grandmother had several she made and maintained.

I do know that the technology stuff is very neat, nice to have, makes more time for more empty days to be filled with mindless entertainment or text messages or twitters from twits. All those fine books and we want someone else to tell us what was important about the work... why? Too much time and not enough respect for how badly we built this current economy and government. If you have no family, or appreciation of the best of a great family life, then you don't understand why it is a real foundation of a great country. It can go too far, without trust of people outside the family, there isn't enough cooperation to build a nation, let alone a little community.

Another fact, that we don't tussle with enough, is how does the rest of the world does it better, or what happened when what we are doing didn't work? Most of us have no idea. You need to really look to figure it out, the military does it all the time. I am not sure anyone else in the government analyzes their fields the way the military does, internationally. They should. But then you should have that emergency plan, shouldn't you?

So how do you feel? it often isn't noticed is it?

Normal, one almost always feels normal. I work hard at trying to get back to that, except I really don't -- I figure that it is the new normal. Until I do something that hasn't been normal for a long time, and am loving that feeling, effort and the victory... hmm. Do we almost always ignore the signs of a problem, have illness we are not self diagnosing?

I listened to some folks discussing increasing nudity on television. American television, I have watched European television - they are so far ahead and you must be still growing up in a repressed society to marvel at people without clothing. Ask any really smart woman, does she present herself best with or without clothing, make up and accessories? But then I liked watching the coed volleyball game at the stone quarry where we had gone to swim and picnic. Lovely young lady and her male friend totally nude, enjoying the sun and the game. We didn't even hide the children's eyes from the behavior, it was only a game. We ate and went swimming. I wonder if my son remembers, he was about four or so, I remember. My problem with nudity and sex scenes on entertainment - is that it doesn't help the story, just wants a bigger audience following. Like folks that use bad language, in acting to make a point of character fine, but in real life - using it is insulting and rude to me, I don't have to participate.

Now, I don't have a problem with being nude, taking my clothing off in public, not being ashamed of Earl as I am no matter how much you want me to think I am degraded and powerless. I have more problem with not being beautiful when compared with some swift swimmer, but not enough to work it to perfection - and never enough to think about getting a doctor to clip and tuck and inflate... after all I am still Earl, very cheap, and always procrastinating. My physical efforts from Saturday's picnic and games caught up with me by Monday, I wondered and now I know. Makes me happy for the pain.

My biggest fun yesterday, was paying the bills, reconciling the books and having money left over and only the mutual funds to bring up to date. I was taking joy in counting my piles of plunder! They are only little piles, but as I shredded an unwanted and totally un-needed credit card from a company that had hurt my bank account long ago - I was ready to trumpet it to the WORLD! I liked looking a the old statements and adding up quickly the amount of money paid in interest would have purchased a new rifle and boxes and boxes of ammunition. Or purchased something my love wanted, so deep in her heart, the possibility is great when you don't give the government nor the banks so much for their pretending.  to want to help you into a happier future. Now for debit cards, or credit cards you pay off immediately every statement - that is wonderful as a means of lightening your wallet or purse - cash is clunky and bulks in bill bundles. I have enough excess weight I carry around as it is, still looking for an anti-grav gun.

The problem with credit is the burden you don't feel responsible for... but you intend to pay off. But what it buys makes you happier today! And if you don't notice the change in your life, your relationships and your future. The chains are forged and they bind bitterly. But you didn't notice, right? Don't worry, everyone does it in America, we all have debts and live happily on instant gratification. It makes up for not being a hero, handsome and healthy. Come to think of it, the entire country is built on debts, that we should pay off one day, and then we realize we aren't going to be getting a better job, a bigger pension, a COLA raise... and the interest on the interest. Then bankruptcy, insolvency, and uncertainty... but the dreams were memorable.

And you still have to breath, and feed your face and earn your place. So get up and get going. For your own good I hope they won't lend you anymore ever again. I don't want you to starve, just work and rebuild on your efforts, merit and potential best. You could not only look like one of those swift swimmers, you could win a place in the race. God bless all your best. I know how that will feel.

What am I just waking up to? at 03:00?

Yeah, I don't know why I am up. But the coffee is good and the net not too cluttered and I have left a comment on someone's post. I guess there are new covers for magazines that suggest something is changing in the election predictions. But I believe the cover is supposed to make you want to buy the magazine and often, only the cover is worthy. If anyone in print is covering the campaign, they are old news or wishful thinking. The whole effort, especially the request for more money, is sad. Don't they know buying votes is not a real economic booster? I don't think they have paid voters cash for votes since 1960. The dead vote cheaper than the living.

The other ugly truth, most of us don't have more money to throw into a campaign, and the news of how many millions have already been wasted on the next bunch to raid the empty treasury means they don'[t need me, do they? Lots of dollars once were a sign of success, now  it seems a black label of greed. Those political machines just keep burning it up. But that is the way to victory, isn't it? You don't need a message as much as a face, a story and a machine with professionals to tell it and gather the clans.

So, I can't help them, I have one vote and will pay for the first class postage for our votes. It is all I have left. I should get a job, better for me to wear out than petrify in place. Once, professionally, we talked about those DIP (die in place) positions. The guys left behind during retreating and regrouping and I wondered when it would be my turn. I need to dig that position, seems like I am better prepared for it than my grandchildren. But as my strength and finances wane from aged and no use, the walls are weak and might come tumbling down.

Banking day today, deposit an extra payment returned from the hospital, finish filing paperwork, writing checks until next month. Going to jog gently today, the lawn needs mowed, the time to chase the moles is now. Haven't thought about eating them yet, times are still good at the grocery. Later!

Time is flying, you only get forty, what do you do?

It is easy to tell you what you are going to do, or should have done, or what happened from where I saw it... if I saw it at all. After all, I am Earl and this is my blog so I really do have super powers here (okay, Blogger.com, I won't mess around with the software). So here comes the End of the World, and you are there.

So make it challenging, like a Reality show with time limits, drama, and getting voted off.

You have exactly forty left, what do you do?

40 Seconds (they do count - down, yaknow.) I will pray for all those that don't know how much time is left, and for mercy I don't deserve but very much want.

40 Minutes (less than an hour, much less than an hour TV show's content - but no commercial time out will be called here). Turn it all off, the phone, the computer, and find someone you love and talk to them and hug them tight, even if it is only the pet, or the memory of someone no longer close. Remember your love, and thank God for those extra minutes.

40 Hours, almost two days. Don't go to sleep with anger in your thoughts, on your heart or in your soul. Reach out with the widest transmission tech you have and say good bye and how much your life has been blest by all their attention, participation and love. Since you have that extra time because of technology, pray for forgiveness of those that hurt you, for your own hurting of others and always for being so self centered that you never noticed them or how that made them unloved. Don't dwell on your past life too much, you have time to give them all a better future without you, just by making it right that it is your time to go. Go loving, God and all their goodness.

40 Days, more than a month, at least two paydays, and closing all debts, keeping all the important promises, gently answering all their concerns and making them happy that they can share without care your finish. Seems lots of time with lots of potential, don't waste it, get right with God, all those you love, loved and need, and then meet some new people and tell them they have a tale to tell you, and take that time to listen to everyone that will share. Do it all with Love, you could write a book about it one day.

40 weeks, lots of time - time enough not to feel pressure of it on your life. Almost too much, so did you write a Bucket List? Well, do one, and get started on it. I have a niece that assures me writing lists will improve my management of my life, this is a time it would help to have one. Look, you have already started the last forty days in all the above - days, hours, minutes, seconds = The End. No time for procrastination.

40 months, more than three years... do you have any idea how many people have been told they would have less than that to live? What do you do with that much time - most will struggle to find more time, a way out of the countdown, to change the rules, to cheat, to not being very accepting--- to think very much of themselves, unless they are wonderful thoughtful loving folks that constantly think of others first. This is where you have a chance to really look at yourself and change who you are to what you want to be remembered for, to get rid of all the demons, nightmares and ugly. You will need to smile much more, fooling everyone into beautiful with you. Always a good to make yourself beautiful and see that everyone else is, too.

40 years - that is two lifetimes from long ago - but we were little better than other primates then. Most of the people that will ever read this (there aren't that many of you) have more than forty years left - it started when you realized that you don't have any idea how much time is remaining, you don't control the clock - or the weather, or the laws of physics. You don't control anything except you - and most of us are not expert in that. God bless all your best, you do have forty of something remaining to you to live. Not that you needed motivation, but just a chance to consider those forty for someone else is helpful.

Made a fool of myself again... I must be younger...

than I realize. I went to the church picnic/games with my wife. I parked and we went out to the games, found our friends and joined in. I was doing okay, quickly becoming an oppressed minority in my own country. Very easy to do when everyone, seemingly, is speaking a foreign language that you pretend to be uncomfortable speaking and making a fool of yourself using. They also decide that you are an English Man, not an American Man, just an English Man - what an insult to the start of my country. But it does increase the pressure, the oppression of me and who I think I am.

I could be wrong, I could call all the Korean Men, Koreans (which works in America, and in the English language - but is not what Koreans call themselves, but then they don't call my country America, in their language either) but then I try to call them by name, and don't you know - that like my wife, they adjusted their American name to our culture (her name is Hong Kum-Cha, she knows it takes too long for Americans to say that correctly or use it as such, so she says to call her KC, which Americans think is Casey). So I am not totally uncaring, unknowing or unsympathetic to their normal being an oppressed minority in this wonderful sharing culture of Liberty and Justice for All. So, why am I suddenly feeling like I almost understand how much stress they are under? Well, just like they have a cultural shell that give grave offense to their person, I have one, too.

So when I saw a man put his hands on my wife to get her attention (she was cheering her team) I came quickly up behind them and called loudly to my wife to get her attention, other women noticed and also told her to pay attention to me. I told her I didn't like other men touching her, which she already knows, and then I turned and made my point with the Korean gentleman. When I was much younger I just would have hit him harder than he was ready for... but I am older and not so young. So I already knew that he hadn't meant to insult my wife or myself, touching in public is something you get over in Asia - touching in private is rare, in America it is the reverse (although I guess I have learned to accept real family type hugs from young people and children, I won't from strangers and don't get me on that whole false fake kiss-cheeks thing). So I didn't hit him, but I left all the anger and destruction on my face and I told him that if he touched my wife again I would hit him hard enough to move the left side of his face to the right side - moving my hands vigorously in the same pattern I was telling him. Leave them with visuals. Then, before I embarrassed my wife any more I turned around and left. And cooled off. Wasn't much of a Christian in my heart then - but he was still alive, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been, right?

Ripples.

I wasn't worried about my wife, or her faithfulness or love for me, I was concerned about how my bad behavior might affect her world. She later was approached by the frightened man and she brought him over to introduce him to me (which is a very Korean thing to do - one doesn't really exist until properly introduced). I wasn't having any introduction to a potential target of my stupidity and shame. So I told her I didn't need to meet him, what I didn't want to say was that I was ashamed and didn't want him to think he was better than I (which was really why he wanted to be introduced - it would make me the barbarian - but he and I already knew that, I didn't want him to have a 'face' advantage). I don't think he thought I was going to kill him or he would have had the Pastor for the English Language Service come introduce me and mediate. I had already told the Pastor I had made a fool of myself, that was as far as I was going today.

My wife was telling the story about her wild man husband and his over protectiveness to her friends, in Korean, and was observed and reported to me by one of my American friends.

Later he, brought his fine little Boston Terrier by to be admired, his family ate lunch near us.

I pulled in some of the Tug of War, on his side of the rope, next to him, we did well together but never spoke.

Because they needed to pretend to be inclusive the English Men were asked to run in a relay. Our team had only three American Men able to run, kind of. So I was encouraged by my wife to run, and did. I ran hard, and it was faster than I had been running in a year. Surprised me that I made it so well, so although it didn't get us a win, it made me smile to be that much in motion. Funny years and years ago it wouldn't have been even mentioned.

I helped clean up, brought our stuff and my wife home, and almost immediately crashed before the news. Which is always a good thing, missing the news at the front of the broadcast. But I was wiped out, and I hadn't even fought a three minute round. I need to get hard bodied again if I am going to be so young in my passion and foolishness. I should have done more like my Sunday School teacher, he was a hippie and a monk for some of his previous life, he knows how to party.

 It is tough to be mellow as an oppressed minority, but good to be able to put yourself in their shoes - and not have to live there forever. When are we, Americans, going to stop trying to make everyone think we are the good guys? Only we know that, but we have been wrong before. But I will hardly admit it. Maybe tomorrow I will be a better man.

Word choice is important, even in prose...

I avoid poetry often, I have challenges in rhythm, rhyme and spellin'. But I admire the use of terms such as 'secret'. As soon as it is attached to another noun or verb - darkness and evil intent swirl around and the word is 'alive!'. Secret Swiss Bank accounts, secret tax forms, secret sessions with sinners, secret whispers of sweet nothings. Public is right out there! Public displays of affection; public and publish - just must have a common Latin root. How many folks reached for Latino, Latina or Latin culture first instead of Latin, old Roman language important in law, science and churches not Greek? Depends on how you were schooled, where you learnt whatcha know.

I am fat, sigh, in eras past I could be portly - which sounds so much better doesn't it? Doesn't change the body shape nor the size of the clothing, but it does change my mind and others about my condition. It doesn't answer the truth of what is inside me, just how we are going to describe me to the folks that don't know nor care.

If you don't know yet, school is about to start for the youth, the adults are to be paying attention, but not too closely, to the struggle for the highest seat in the land. I wonder who would want that seat if it were on top of something really high? or very public? I will hold that is all a distraction, the damage is being done by public servants and those that are really in charge of the change, chains and the choice. You can't do too much about all that, just know what you can take care of... yourself and all those you love.

I like shooting, I am interested in military matters, airborne, armor and combat and small unit stuff. I like to think I invested well (I didn't, but it sure has helped). I know that the economy is important, but am still learning from economists that do much better with facts and measurements and are so different than what is presented nightly in the news... SO Different! What I know about military and shooting, which is almost professional expert grade but dated, is always better than all the embedded correspondents can give me, so I figure that is how much of a miss the news is on everything else. And I always remember that their intent is to keep me watching so they can sell ad time to sponsors, no real interest in making a truth known just keep me watching, give me a teaser to stay with you for after the commercials break.

I am going to leave the computer cave, and take my wife and a bunch of stuff (is it possible to leave the house with just what you carry on your back?) to the Spanaway Lake Park and enjoy a day with the Tacoma First Baptist Church Olympic Games! We once walked almost daily or at least weekly in the park, but budget battles, access during unsafe hours of darkness and parking fees drove many of us, just users, away. My tax rate doesn't get affected by that, just my appreciation for the stupidity of the Parks and County governors. I will have fun, there will be lots of beautiful people, fine foolish chatter, an opportunity to feast (oh, yeah, in about four cultures worth of taste) and get sun burned. Instead of just aggravated by time marching steadily on with us lemmings.... God bless your day, He has already started on mine, I will share.