Lovely being me, just me, Earl the guy at the back of the room...

  The guy that walked on stage carrying a trunk and walked back off not saying a word. Ligonier Valley Players production... I was there.  I have to admit I cannot claim the main character status in any story not my own, and no one would pay to read nor view it.  Lucky am I that nothing dramatic surrounded my choices and chances in my life.  No public acclaim nor acknowledgement needed, thank you very much.  Have to thank God for placing me where I might help, or at least not get in the way of progress.

  Was a bit frustrated yesterday at the YMCA, not about how much exercise I did, for a fat old fool I did a fine twenty-five point seventy-nine miles in hours of sweaty good intentions.  And the ladies were lovely and there were many of the regulars and they said hi or acknowledged my existence with the head nod or wave. No, the two regulars I was looking forward to seeing and exchanging views with weren't there. At our age, there are too many reasons not to show up for the exercise, and two of the reasons, death and hospitalization, are just hovering in our future cause we have seen others on that road before. I am sure that everything is fine - just they have their own lives and don't always get a page in mine, but I should be able to write them into the adventures of the old guy whenever I want. Thinking I am in control of anything.  Maybe I anticipated too much.

  My mother's anticipation of her Fiftieth Anniversary celebration was ruined by my father's early departure, but then old folks do things like that. My wife came home with groceries yesterday, for the Men's Bible Study at our home in two weekends from now.  She has done major cleaning on the windows and the house twice for the same reason and the guest bathroom is off limits to me because she is hosting the hiking group this morning before they drive off. Anticipation makes preparations much better, but you can drive yourself and others crazy with obsessive behavior, can't you? With forty years of bumping into each others plans - my partnership (marriage in our minds) has well build fences to keep our minds from running loose and wild.  Yep, little drama here. We are settled down, we are stable, we could be in a rut and wheels spinning - but then maybe we don't want to go anywhere.  I looked into the passport renewal, and am sticker shocked by costs, didn't we pay our taxes?  Makes me think that we should just plan on walking around the border check points.

  You see, all my guns and all my ammunition and I am not in the nightly news with my arsenal, and for some strange reason the visit to the YMCA is going to work better for me than sticking up a convenience store or shooting it out on I5 in road rage.  Which is exactly why they won't write a book about me, they often aren't sure I was there once upon a time - so I am falling out of myths and fairy tales, too.  Still have that wonderful poem. "I met a man upon the stair, a little man that wasn't there, he wasn't there again today, gee, I wish he'd go away!"