Expert testifies...

I was sure I was going to be an expert on procrastination, but never got around to it. My father shocked me when he told me in his elder years that he wished he hadn't procrastinated so much. I couldn't remember anything that he didn't get done when it was time, but he must have. But I find that I am getting real good at alienating those that I care about. So I am not getting called, talked to, advised or helped along my way. It isn't anything to be too concerned over, when people get prepared to leave for other places, jobs, missions or relationships there is often a lot of blame going on for the friction and drama and trauma. Years later, if you have time to forgive them for your hurt, try to remember to apologize to them for theirs - like all communication, it only works if both parties are working on it, not just one. Kind of like waiting for God to tell you when your end is near, have you been telling Him it is time?

Part of feeling apart is the change of personality or actions and reactions, my wife finally said that I wasn't the same guy after Vietnam that I had been before... okay, but where is that coming from. I think I know, part of this drive to get back to VA and get more disability, I am of the opinion that I am fine - but I even like me. Her friends have husbands with long lists of things wrong with them, that they receive disability payments for. Sorry for them, but there is an entitlement mentality that says you have to take it to make it... or something like that. I think if I needed it I would get it, but I am not in need. Of course as I get older, and tears come to my eyes over memories or touching my tender spots, people around me won't understand - I suppose I should be overly medicated to function like a happy fellow, but I am happy. Just alone.

Life is almost all in how we look at it...

It has been a busy Saturday, and I haven't gotten a thing done. I did the stationary peddling, ate fine poached eggs, went and fired the M1 at 100 yards in off hand, kneeling and prone positions, then a slung up sitting position. Talked to other shooters, all of us impatient to get a position on the range and shoot. It was a very beautiful day in the Great NorthWest. Mount Rainier was perfect. I went home feeling so successful that I decided to see if jogging would kill me. I still don't know, since I jogged, then walked, jogged, then walked, jogged then walked, kind of interval training. I liked the overall time, being much faster than just walking, and the kind of running and not dying. Still I have a long way to go, and will keep working on it. Drove up to Renton and visited my cousin and his family. Lovely dinner and great story telling, but we always tell tales, and we helped celebrate a birthday. The grandchildren of his are really growing up, quickly, but as I told them. On the other side of growing up, waits 'growing old', don't be in such a hurry.

Target analysis, eight rounds high in standing, eight rounds lower but horizontal stringing in kneeling, eight rounds closer to where they ought to be on prone six o'clock hold. Twenty-four rounds high left on sitting at bench with sling, but everything on the paper, with more time, much more dry fire in all the hard positions and more calling the shots I will get better. And you can bruise your face with an M1 and you won't care -- as long as every shot counts!

Were you there when they crucified my Lord, our Lord?

Communion and the Passion Pageant, and I am sure, we were all there somewhere when the organized Religious leaders and the easily swayed politicians and princes decided to kill a threat to their stability, to their power, to their wonderful life... It could happen today, and you wouldn't do anything much except worry about not being too disturbed on your commute to work or your favorite entertainment being prempted.... yes, we were all there then, and looking around we are still here now, and they will crucify the Son of God, again. We just haven't gotten the message.

Just a quick note for those the worry about conspiracy..

Now, get away from the television, I like to read economists along with gunnies and good people, so I am not surprised that the economy is getting stronger. I haven't said that the government wild spending and fighting wars that weren't needed is getting better, only that the economy is getting a bit better. Okay, gasoline prices haven't come down enough yet - but they will, or we will be walking more soon, which is why this is going to be short, I have done three hours on a stationary bike now it is time to walk between the rain drops.

Back to the economy recovering, first - this is America, and most of us don't wait for the government to clean up before or after floods and hurricanes, although FEMA is around now, these strange terrible weather and natural disasters have been around much longer. So I am not surprised that those that want to start businesses, get the economy moving again and such are going to be doing just that - if the government had been less regulatory, it probably would have started earlier. If there hadn't been unemployment, how many more workers would have searched hard for another job? You don't know do you? The unemployment RATE is falling, why? Well, more opportunities, less long term benefits - they have cut back the total number of months in Washington, because our rate of unemployment is falling, which is a very good sign.

For those that want a conspiracy theory to mull over - one which I don't believe - the current Federal Administration has done all it could to promote unemployment, a bad economy and terrible fuel prices and confusion over an ability to have a budget, to have a budget that balanced and a Congress that would work together to reduce restrictions on Americans and dependence on a handout for everything which the Government has helped raise the prices of... now, it all started with the former Presidents, and the current one only benefits in that slowly most hard working Americans are going around the efforts to make us miserable. As they succeed, the current President and his minions get to claim loudly that his economic recovery plan is working - his efforts for a peaceful withdraw from Afghanistan and Iraq are working - and the world under inspection is just a great and beautiful place to be and live. Why should you want to change Presidents?

Well, I think I would like to change government, I would like a Republic again, I would like to know that the politicians will be punished for their crimes, that those in government can't lie to me without being charged for it -- I can't make an untruthful statement to them. Only fair. I don't think that a President Romney will fix the problem in Washington, DC. He will put a different face upon it, but it will grind on slowly looking for that cliff to fall over... it is just beyond the horizon, in the fog of mistakes we spin into success.

Most of the nation knows what is good and right, and still allows our leaders to take us on major military adventures without declaring war and mobilizing EVERYONE to fight or build resources for the fight. We would be done much quicker if War were as important as political games played in Washington, DC. If President Johnson hadn't been allowed to start his War on Poverty, until the War in Vietnam was done - he might have lived longer after office. If we had finished that war, Vietnam might have become a democracy instead of what it is today, or maybe not. Won't know for sure, we never fought the war as a Superpower, or even as a major factor in determining Victory... we watched it consume our bravest and best (unless deferred for various reasons) and our treasure, we pretended it was the fault of the South Vietnamese and the media, and snuck away pretending everyone would be better if we didn't do that any more... at least not half-heartedly. Gulf War I, we won, and left. But fools came back for the second invasion of Iraq, and Afghanistan, and they wanted to do exactly what they couldn't do in the Nam, Korea, Philippines or Germany and Japan... WE DON'T MAKE any other country into America, and ask Canada - it is not a bad thing to be another country, friendly with the United States, but not overly influenced by us.

Of all the stuff to add to my worry about list...

That list of things to avoid, CBS 60 Minutes finally had an expose on Sugar as a toxin. Although they didn't come out and tell Congress to ban it, their experts were against it for good solid scientific reasons. This is not a new concept that many of human dietary problems can be eliminated by going back to un-refined foods. Or just a little won't hurt, everything in moderation. One of the illustrations was that the brain treats sugar being tasted as starting the pleasure receptors in the brain! Just like other addictions. Good, I will be throwing out pies, cakes and Girl Scout cookies with the ice cream in the future.

I have decided that my health issues are all because of Vietnam and my poor adaptation to the entirely too rich diet of America... if only I could move around more, I came back from Vietnam a skinny young man, and I ate everything in sight, John Wayne bars, C's, candy from home, breads, potatoes... lots of sodas full of sugar, and I didn't drink coffee black then either... but it was really hot! I always thought that the heat kept my body lean, fat fools really suffered until the body weight came down. And I wasn't that physically active, a little swimming, a little lifting artillery rounds when there was an important mission I wasn't computing data for... yeah, I read a lot, wrote a bunch and threw knives, swung in a hammock when nothing was going on but I had to be present - awaiting a call for fire.

Anyhow, I am working very hard on returning to my physical peak, which was around thirty-two or so... This is my blog and I will expand on the little I am really doing as much as possible. But really, today is a bit of recovery day since I am driving my wife to appointments, work and then picking her up. So I will hit the treadmill, exercises, and dry fire of the M1 rifle when she gets home. No excuse not to, here.

The picture is of Drill Sergeant Oliver, once as my assistant in my platoon, great leader, became a Houston policeman and later a sheriff's deputy, liked his S&W 357 revolver, it was interesting shooting it on the Army ranges beyond the distance the Army thought one should engage targets with handguns. They did go down when hit. He was a great friend, found me a few years before he passed on in his second bout against cancer, our Senior Drill Sergeant looked me up and told me, caught me up to all they had done. We may go down, but we can go down hard, and swinging. Oliver was very impressed with the fact that cows could and would jump his patrol car. One of those friends I want to meet in Heaven, a foot washing Baptist he claimed.

The beauty in all of God's creation is in the imperfections...

Yep, the real beauty that sings to our souls, in colors, texture, tones and rhythms beating on - they are all imperfect. Really. Ancient Asian wisdom was to make the most beautiful object and then mar the perfection just the tiny bit. For one would never want to compare their best work with the best of the Heavenly Hosts', would they? But in everything, I look upon or walk through or listen to - is not perfect in anything, except in the feeding of my soul.

The Olympics started as the celebration of competition, as a celebration of the best man could perform - for the benefits of the gods? well, I am cynical enough to believe that there would be ample rewards from people that just loved touching champions, and being able to say that they feasted the victory celebration. For the athlete - well, they are there to do their best, it is personal.

I was stationed in Seoul, Korea as they were hosting the Olympics and the world's best. I only wanted to see the baseball game between Japan and the US, and I am sure that I would have been released from duty to go - but I didn't. It would have been etched in my memory forever, it is anyway, but being there would have been so cool. Before the regular Olympics they host the Olympics for the others. We, my battalion, got to host and brief some of the competitors. The briefings are always about why we, America and the United Nations, are still in Korea, what we guard and how it is going. I sure talk too much, but I wanted the competitors to know about us and I was interested in them. Remember I was still doing road races and ROK Ranger training, still young enough to like competing, old enough not to sink everything I had into winning it all.

Anyway, the two younger than I ladies, were beautiful and intelligent (and nice enough not to yawn in boredom as I laid layers of Asian, Korea and the military mind upon them). I asked serious questions of them and their training and their competitive goals. I loved some of the answers, because I hadn't thought that they would cut back on alcohol for lack of normal body volume that other women would have, I would pass it off as being in training. I was glad my official duties got me to talk and meet them - I still remember being awed to speechlessness in the Nam on my firebase when the Miss America contestants flew in for our happiness... both, meetings were once in a lifetime, and I am better for them. The ladies I was briefing went on to compete in the 1988 Summer Paralympics, they did just fine.

We, as a human race and current culture, keep putting people in various boxes and we seem totally uncomfortable around those that 'aren't like us'. So why would God and the angelic hosts have any time to spend, or power to waste on creatures that pose as a little better than apes? And worse, acting at sub primate community badness? The apes will cast out a danger to the tribe. Oh, silly me, I forget that God's entire purpose in His life was our creation - to mar the perfection of the Universe that He has made... and offer the salvation and the way to His love and glory. We can do it, we just have to have the passion to compete, the training to improve and the encouragement of those that love us with all our faults to become better and truly beautiful.

I just haven't figured it out yet...

I mean what is the draw to finding out if President Clinton wears boxers or briefs, about the time of that question my son was wearing both so he could hang is pants real low and expose the boxers. I had gone to Vietnam and found not wearing underwear very chic. It was for the airing of the skin, jungle rot is not kind to people in hot humid, fungal swampy areas, parts of people start to turn green (really!) and one doesn't always have proper medicine to scrub infected infested areas with. Heavens, I was on a firebase with four large self-propeller artillery pieces, an engineer platoon for water, mine clearing and keeping road and berms and bunkers built. We wore shirts when the brass or the Miss America contestants dropped in for a far too few minutes - they were worth the dressing up (no, I didn't mean the brass, not that they visited that often either).

I have seen The Hunger Games, I am happy that I waited until I had read the first book, the two different versions of the same story work pretty well. President Snow is just so misunderstood, and I am not that sure that the movie/entertainment people could see themselves portrayed so closely aligned with EVIL. I am not sure what is going to happen if enough youth read the books and decide that President Snow has to go.... Do you think there is a reason there are thirteen districts feeding the Capital?