I broke through the front door this morning...

We had to go to church to start the day and the New Year with prayer. Always good to start with prayer, everything starts better with reflection and prayer. You can't do it alone. But after scraping the ice off the windshield and warming the car up, the remote wouldn't get the garage door to close. And time marches on. I check the sensors at the bottom of the door tracks, and they are aligned but one seems dead, one is enough, it doesn't close. So I use the switch inside and ride the door down closed, and go out the front door. And my ever helpful wife pushes the remote and opens the garage door, and I tell her it isn't working and how is she going to close the door now? I also take the remote from her hands, and take it with me, then she gets the remote from her car and pushes it and it doesn't work either, so she throws it in frustration - somewhere in her car (I hope). I ride the switch and the door closes again, and I go out the front door, and check that it is locked behind me. As I get to the car, I remember my driving keys don't have a house key on them, and decide that I won't ask if my wife has her keys - battles not fought when not needed saves many hours of anger, some things are better not shared.  What is hidden in your heart?

It is cold, dark, and we are early enough. We have come to pray.

There is a program, there are all the ministers, many of the congregation (not all but a multitude), and we will start in the beginning of a New Year and Genesis, In the Beginning...  I find the idea of Mankind's artificial beginning of a Year so different from God's, but isn't it nice to put that all behind us and start anew? God is, was and will be... constant. Man, not so much, we are going to learn from the lessons of the past, plan for a better future and work on it now. 

So we begin, singing praises, in two languages at the same time, for God speaks to Man better than we do to each other.

There are cultural differences, too, for the Baptists have one rhythm and the Asians another, and Earl is slower, plodding and quiet. Then we are encouraged to pray aloud, and I am reminded of the power of Poetry when given voice: tone, pace, color, power and peace - sound rings through our ears - and praying aloud, loudly with passion brings your love out of your heart. Don't worry, no one is listening save the LORD. And He already knows what is in your heart, He just feels you need to say it. Amen.

You know, being in tune with the full church, in love of the Lord and all good men, that I as a Concealed Carry Permitted/person have to think what I would do as we are attacked by a mad man with a totally awesome rapidly firing machine of death. Well, I would have to stand up, face the madman and say, 'The Lord loves you, I am Earl, please put your gun on the ground.' Would have to say it loudly, but not with a tone that was fearful, threatening or stupid - just calm assurance. Not that it would work, if it was meant that no one could get through to the madman, not that it would save hundreds of people, but I would have the madman's focus on first, the Lord's love, and second upon me, so he (the madman) would get the same opportunity to take that first shot and hit me that I gave trainees on the rifle ranges, and I would get to react if he missed or his firearm didn't function. I feel that would be a great thing, not the best of all things but I have life insurance so my wife wouldn't suffer, someone else would be taking a picture with their iPhone or other, texting their friends, or 911 for police help only minutes away.

Don't know how it would have ended up, there wasn't a madman in the attack mode with an assault weapon and thousands of rounds of death and destruction. But I was sure I could stand up with the Lord's love and solve that small problem. What is hidden in your heart? Are our fears crowding out our courage? Do we live our lives with visions of Goodness and Glory? Or the agony of deficit and defeat?

I said a few Happy New Years, to folks I meant it for and felt that I should do more in love, I would be happier. Great way to start the New Year. I took my wife home and asked as we got to the street our home is on, "Do you have your house key?" No, she said, just use the remote.. and I told her I left it inside the house but I would go through the door. And after parking the car, and her futilely searching inside the car for the remote, I went through the front door.

I am a big enough fool, one lock on the door won't stop me, one angry little woman will. She is upset, to say it softly - it is bigger than that. I will have to repair what I have broken, expectations especially. I have already attached a house key to my car key ring. I will fix the door and insure it locks and look for a replacement sensor or its repair (a mouse could have chewed through a wire?). She has gone to sleep on the heat pad in disgust and frustration. And I, well, I have a blog post for today, confession is good for the soul, it doesn't fix the garage door opening and closing with remote, nor the front door. But my soul is feeling better and breakfast awaits to fuel the mind in my trials. Not too much hidden in my heart.

Y'all have a very Happy New Year, God bless us, everyone.