Promise not kept...

He showed lots of promise, he had promise, his birth was a promise to a prayer request.... he didn't live up to his promise, he was living a lie....

I like to think I was a promise that my mother dreamed of long before she ever met my father... but then I am the central figure in my story. She had dreams, designed and sewed her own wedding dress, she waited (remained virgin) until the day she married, she wanted to cuddle and nurse a baby, change its diapers, sing to it, and tell it stories. And one wouldn't be enough, she wanted a small gang of babies, one after another. She believed in planning for the next one. Only one unplanned blessing, all welcome, all promises in answers to her dreams.

I guess like most plans, they are destroyed with first contact with the enemy, in my mother's case and my promise - her dreams met my desires. In diapers I would break out the slats of the crib to get free of it, I would fall out the second story window (too young to explain), would jump from the same window for an opportunity to see the circus downtown, escaping my nap. She was ironing and looking out the lower window as I landed, and started to cry because I was busted. I didn't get to the circus, but likely took the nap.

She gave me a love of stories, reading, and my own dreams and exploring my questions about the world, almost fearlessly.

I will have to confess I have had a wonderful life, even the bad parts were not that bad (I lived with only minor scars and few nightmares over time), but I haven't lived up to the promise my birth was for my parents. My father had different thoughts for my growing than my mother had, and he allowed more options on my life, and support for the strange ones I chose. Still didn't live up to the promise.

I had play football for a couple of years in junior and senior high school, line thug. When my scores for the National testing came back and about ready to graduate high school, Mister Starr, the football coach and Biology teacher told me I could have gone to college on a scholarship if I had continued playing. He was referring to my academics, not my sports skills, I did go to college, was in love with the concept of education, but I went off to the military since it was my choice. Finished college in the military, which is the hard way.  Never met my promise, but my mother was proud, my wife was proud, and my friends were happy.

I never became a lawyer, minister, politician, business owner, or teacher... just a line thug, a fine thug.

I think I would like to believe I am a Norman Rockwell Relic, just a throwback to a better era, a kinder time,  when men were gentlemen, and hard working providers and heroic anchors to solid families in the community.  But then if it were true, it would be a promise kept.